Some people are ridiculously hard to shop for. You’re expected to buy them a gift, but they’re tight-lipped about what they want, and they don’t seem to need anything.
What do you get the guy who already has everything?
Well, if they happen to like cars—as most guys do, to at least some extent—we’ve found some auto-related gift options that are, shall we say, unusual. They range from affordable do-it-yourself upcycling to crazy expensive ultra-luxury items. One thing they have in common: even if you’re shopping for someone who already “has it all,” it’s unlikely that they actually have any of these 10 ridiculous automotive gifts.
Timing Belt Belt
For starters, how about a new belt made from…an old belt?
Timing belts eventually need to be replaced. But just because they’ll no longer work for your car doesn’t mean they wouldn’t work for your pants. Here are instructions on how to turn a common old car part into a fashion accessory that really makes a statement. And if you figure out what the statement is, let us know.
6-Speed Toilet Plunger
No, it doesn’t plunge your toilet at six different speeds. It’s a toilet plunger made from a six-speed aluminum gear shifter.
Everyone needs a plunger, but most plungers are incredibly boring. This solves that problem, which you never realized was a problem before right now. You’re welcome.
R2-D2 USB Charger
With a new third trilogy of movies coming out, interest in Star Wars is back on the rise. The true star of the series, of course, is the lovable little droid who can fix anything as long as he doesn’t have to walk up stairs to do it.
Now you can have your own R2 unit as a co-pilot, of sorts, for your landspeeder. It’s a tiny model that fits in your car’s cup holder. It may not be able to fix your hyperdrive, but it can charge up your cell phone and tablet, beep in R2-speak, turn its head, and…well, that’s about it. It can do those three things. But it’s cute and geeky cool while doing them.
Engine Block Coffee Table
This is potentially a do-it-yourself project, but there are engine table artisans out there who will do the work for you. They can be made from any kind of engine, but preferably the kind that no longer works and isn’t worth fixing.
And where do you get coffee for your engine block coffee table? Well, obviously…
Engine Block Coffee Machine
Some people like their coffee the way they like their used motor oil: hot and black.
That must have been the thought process behind Espresso Veloce, a line of espresso machines made to look like F1 racing engines. The machines, which come in V8, V10, and V12 configurations, dispense coffee from their exhaust pipes into custom mugs that resemble piston heads.
Does it make coffee fast? Does it give you a jump start on the morning? Does it run on regular, or decaffeinated? Unfortunately, the manufacturer doesn’t say, avoiding any such puns that might detract from its serious price tag (reportedly in the range of $14,000).
Classic Car Sofa
If you have an engine for a table or a coffee machine, what do you do with the rest of the car?
Well, you can always turn it into the rest of the furniture.
The folks at Classic Couches chop up old cars and turn them into sofas, chairs, desks, dining booths, and wall hangings. (That’s right: you can hang a ‘57 Chevy—or at least a slice of it— on your wall.) Sofas start at $3,250, which is actually pretty reasonable considering you’re buying a car that’s been turned into a sofa.
There’s new car smell, and then there’s Bentley new car smell.
The British carmaker has created a line of fragrances inspired by its high-end luxury cars. Its flagship Lalique for Bentley Crystal Edition features the scent of “fine woody notes and exquisite leather,” much like the leather and wood interiors of their $200,000 Flying Spur or $300,000 Mulsanne models.
The eau de parfum includes kingly ingredients such as orris butter, which is made from the roots of Irises. It takes 28 pounds of orris root and over five years to make a single ounce of orris butter. So, as you can guess, it’s not cheap, especially when placed in a crystal sculpture and stamped with the name “Bentley.” The fragrance runs about $4,300 for a 3.4-ounce bottle.
Drive a Race Car
Sometimes giving someone an experience can make a more lasting impression than giving them a tangible item. For a car guy, what better experience could you give than driving an honest-to-goodness race car?
A number of companies offer “driving experiences” ranging from NASCAR ride-alongs to performance driving schools. Cloud 9 Living, for instance, offers packages in cities across the country, including the option to drive a stock car, an Indy car, or a dragster on a professional track. Of course, it’s not like you’ll get to enter the Daytona 500; we’re talking a few laps on an empty track.
If renting a race car for a few minutes isn’t enough for you, you could always:
Own a Race Car
And not just any race car. We’re talking an F1 Ferrari that was actually raced competitively on the Formula One circuit. Through Ferrari’s F1 Clienti program, well-funded customers can buy any of the company’s old F1 cars from 1970 to the present (or at least the recent past; cars must be retired from the circuit before they are available). Along with the car comes a complete pit crew, full maintenance, and transportation to eight driving events at eight famous courses around the world each year.
The price for all this? Well, if you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it. Which is probably the reason why Ferrari won’t disclose the price; it’s a program aimed at people for whom money is no object. It’s reported that a lower-end GT version of the program starts at about $2 million, though, and there’s a big difference between GT and F1.
But, you know what they say: if you can’t join them, run over them with a tank.
Drive a Tank
Oh yeah. For less than 1,000th the price of an F1 car, you can crush the competition with a 121,000-pound Chieftain MK10 tank.
That’s the offer from a Minnesota-based company named, sure enough, Drive a Tank. Its 3-star, 4-star, and 5-star general packages allow you to drive a selection of different military tanks and armored personnel carriers.
Optional add-ons include:
- Drive a tank over a car!
- Drive a tank over two cars!
- Drive a tank through a house!
As if that’s not enough to vent your frustrations over your daily commute, Drive a Tank also has a collection of military machine guns that can be fired at their indoor firing range.
So there you have it: 10 ridiculous (or ridiculously awesome) gifts for the car lover in your life. Of course, we could have included our own A/C Pro in the list, but it’s not ridiculous; it’s just awesome.